If you’ve had a baby and suddenly feel like you can’t recognise yourself — overwhelmed in ways that don’t match what other new mums describe, or wondering whether what you’re experiencing is “just” postpartum anxiety — it might be worth asking whether AuDHD (co-occurring Autism and ADHD) is part of the picture. The perinatal period has a way of stripping back the coping strategies many women have spent a lifetime building, often bringing undiagnosed or misdiagnosed traits to the surface. Here’s a real list of the wide range of symptoms and traits from postnatal AuDHD women I have met, gathered from my own work as a perinatal peer support worker.
🌻 Self harm – cutting or head banging for self-regulation
🌻 Suicidal thoughts or thoughts that baby and partner would be better off if they weren’t here.
🌻 Low mood and depression due to the sudden drop in hormone levels and loss of previous coping or self-regulation strategies
🌻 Emotional dysregulation linked to sensory overload and lack of sleep – withdrawn one minute with sudden outbursts the next
🌻 Anxiety caused by overwhelm and keeping all the plates spinning at once
🌻 Complex sensory profile – both seeking and avoidant which leads to overload
🌻 Sleep disturbance even if the baby is sleeping okay
🌻 Hypervigilance – not wanting to let others look after baby
🌻 OCD traits inked to stimming/anxiety rather than compulsions
🌻 Social anxiety – unable to get out the house or get to groups
🌻 Low self-esteem and confidence in their ability to be a good mother
🌻 Feeling out of control due to baby’s unpredictability and rapid developmental leaps
🌻 Slow to process a traumatic birth and ruminating thoughts
🌻 Forgetful of appointments or double booking
🌻 House may be cluttered due to trouble with executive functioning
🌻 Lack of self-care due to baby becoming a hyper focus or hyper fixation
🌻 Periods of high energy followed by crashes and burnout/shutdown
🌻 May have difficult relationship with own mother/parents due to undiagnosed neurodivergence and inability to believe mental health exists
🌻 May have a history of broken romantic relationships
🌻 Needs direct communication and validation
🌻 May find it difficult to identify their emotions due to alexithymia and so may not be very expressive or descriptive in appointments
🌻 Prone to high justice sensitivity and RSD – Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
🌻 Seems like they have a split personality – can be overly expressive and chatty one week but then super quiet and withdrawn the next
🌻 May have previously been diagnosed with bipolar, EUPD, GAD. You can read a study published in 2024 relating to the experiences of autistic adults previously diagnosed with borderline or emotionally unstable personality disorder here
🌻 May have been under CAMHS or Eating disorder services in adolescence
🌻 May have a significant trauma history, due to undiagnosed neurodivergent parents, vulnerability in relationships, bullying etc
🌻 May have one or more of a number of co-occuring pain conditions such as fibromyalgia, endometriosis, hyper mobility and hEDS or other associated hormonal or health conditions such as PMOS, PMDD, POTS and MCAS.
If any of this resonates with you and you’d like to find out more about coaching and how it could help you, please don’t hesitate to contact me or to book a free no-obligation discovery call.
